Her Final Epitaph
by Erich Zann III
Summary: Amamiya is dying.  Her life was too amazing to allow to pass without record, though.  As her life slips away, she remembers back... back to her youth.  AgehaxAmamiya. M for safety, no smut.


A/N: Dearest Reader, this is my first Psyren fanfic, and I'm a little nervous. It doesn't have the usual sex and violence that my fanfics do, so if that's what you're looking for, you're SOL. Otherwise, enjoy.

Sakurako Amamiya… That's my name… I can feel my life slipping away from me, and as I'm dying in my bed, surrounded by the many wonderful friends that I've made throughout my long life: Shao, Kyle, Marie, Frederica, Van, and a few others. I'm not scared, though… No. Because I know that I'll get to see you again after I "fall asleep" as I like to think of it, Ageha-kun. I think back to when I was younger, to when my life truly began… I could start this story like David Copperfield… I was born, I lived… Or I could begin like Inverview with a Vampire, when I was "born again" as those in my field sometimes say. However, neither seems to fit me, as some backstory is needed. I was an only child in my family, and though my parents both kind of spoiled me, they were emotionally distant. When I was young, I thought they were the best parents in the world, but as I got older, I saw them for the people that they were, and began to despair that they would never love me as I loved them… That was the beginning of my fall.

What really did it, though, was that red card with the strange emblem on it. _Psyren_ it said, and it came out of a payphone after a weird birdman appeared above it and dialed a number. I was scared, terrified, in fact, but curiosity and exhilaration won out. I was only in my third year of middle school, after all, and I wondered… 'have I been "chosen" for something greater?' and 'is this where my life will change?' So, I put the card in the phone and took the quiz. It was long, tedious and comprehensive, and told me things that perhaps I didn't want to hear. That woman's voice, so cold, so mechanical, and matter-of-fact, it sent chills down my spine with her tone and tears to my eyes with her words… "You know that your parents are emotionally absent, but you accept their gifts without questioning their motive in the hopes that you can continue to pretend they mean that they love you…" I wasn't ready to hear that from anyone… I wasn't even ready to think it… But then, it asked… "Do you want to go to Psyren? Yes, or No?" Perhaps it was defiance of this cruel woman who seemed to know me better than I knew myself. Perhaps it was fear that if I didn't, I would never learn how she knew all this… I think it might have just been desperation to get away from the void that I was living in. Either way, I hit 'yes'… But nothing happened… I waited, and that icy cold voice said "thank you, we will contact you shortly with your results."

I wasn't whisked away that moment, but the next day, some guys claiming to be police officers came to my house and asked my father if they could "talk" to me. The leader was creepy looking, with slicked back hair and an eyepatch, and the other guy was tough looking, and was even faster on his feet. I barely escaped with my life, I imagine, though I don't know, because at that moment, my phone rang, and I answered it, fearful that if I let it ring, they would find me. However, I saw that strange birdman above me again, and a symbol flashed in the sky before my eyes, and suddenly… everything was quiet. It seemed like the entire world had been turned upside down. I was in a trashed room with six other people… One of them mentioned something about a legend of Psyren, one said that he was only in this for the money… How greedy, I thought. I didn't even know there was money involved in this. I was scared, and alone… but also thrilled. My life seemed to be changing… Though I later found out that it wasn't for the better. I survived that first trip… I should say, I was the _only_ one who survived that trip, thanks, sadly, to the sacrifices of everyone else, some unwitting, some intentional. There was one man there who was very good to me. He was the first to die. He threw himself in front of what I now know were called Taboo to save my life. In his dying breath, he told me that he would never have been able to face his daughter in heaven if he had just let me die. Before that day, I had never felt so helpless. I had never cried so hard or so long. I was only able to keep walking because I was sure that if I didn't stay with the group, that I would surely die alone, and in my selfishness, I couldn't let that happen.

When I got back, I staggered home, delirious and barely standing. When I got in the door, my father yelled at me for running away, and my mother refused to say anything at all. I don't really remember what he said, because I just walked away and went to bed. The next day was when I discovered Yagumo Matsuri. After that, she became my idol, my hero… I worshipped her, and prayed desperately every night that one day I could be as strong and beautiful as she was. Even back then, I was in love… I loved you back then, and I still love you just as much… No… more… today, Ageha-kun. I wanted you to notice me, but your mother's death still weighed heavily on your heart, and I understood that I wasn't high on your list of priorities.

Yagumo Matsuri was a lot of things. She was a world famous pianist, the most beautiful woman I'd ever met, the strongest woman alive with a heart as beautiful as her face, a powerful psionicist… And, to my benefit, she was a former Psyren drifter. Her card ran out over a year before, but she still searched the internet, doing word searches on post sites for the words "Psyren", "Psionicist", "Drifter", "Nemesis Q" and a few others that my aging memory cannot recall… Even though she had earned her 'prize', and was now allowed a quiet life, she chose to stay in the game, gathering people around her who could change the world, change the future, change everyone's lives as only we drifters knew. So, it was lucky that I was also searching, and found her. When we met, she explained a few things to me: The fever, the phone call, the card, etc… What was most spectacular, though, I admit, was the idea that psychic powers existed. I'm ashamed to say that I behaved rather badly, and made a poor first impression when she told me about them. I remember exactly what I said. I called her a psychotic bitch, and accused her of making fun of me. I told her that I had just watched people die horrible deaths and disintegrate to ash before my eyes, and that she was treating me like some joke.

She was patient, though… More patient than I deserved. She took me to lunch and waited until I stopped crying. Then, she showed me proof of what she was saying. She levitated her coffee cup, and made the utensils and coffee itself do cartwheels in midair. I can't pretend that didn't make me laugh. She then set the coffee back down and ordered a cup for me and told me to concentrate on my coffee and try to make the same shape in it that she had moments before. Try as I might, though, I only managed to make a small ripple on the cup. She said I passed the test, though… But that was the beginning for me… Two weeks later, I went back to Psyren as Matsuri-sensei promised I would have to, and I tried explaining to everyone what I knew. But much like me, they didn't believe me. They laughed and called me insane… Again, I was the only survivor… Again, I blamed myself for their deaths… That was when Abyss was born, deep in the recesses of my soul.

The next year and some odd months passed in a haze. I would sometimes look around me and realize that I had no idea how I got there. I would wonder if I was awake or asleep, and then try to remind myself that awake _or_ asleep, my life had become a nightmare. I was in high school, but my grades didn't reflect my ability. I wasn't even trying anymore. I didn't care… Because I knew the truth… I knew that even if I did try, that life was futile, that I would die in a few years when Psyren came to pass. But, I kept my chin up around Matsuri-sensei. I was terrified of her of all people thinking I was weak… What if she abandoned me too, after all? She was the only good thing left in my life, and I needed her more than she could possibly know. Only you know this, Ageha-kun. I haven't told Matsuri-sensei just how desperately I wanted to keep her friendship. I was afraid that if she knew, she would be disgusted by me. Um… S-sorry, Ageha-kun.

That's about the time that you came into the picture. I don't know exactly when you got your card, but the day you came back into my life, you found my wallet. It had been stolen by some cruel girls in a cruel prank, and I thank God that you returned it to me, although I still am sorry that I got you into my mess. I may not have realized it at the time, but just before I disappeared, you heard me cry "save me"… If I had realized that you would act, I never would have dared even think it. But you did, and then, you appeared in Psyren before me. The first thing I remember clearly is you holding me in your arms. I was glad that you were there… But then, you told me what I said, and I was mortified at what I had done to you. I was sure that I had passed a death sentence on you. But somehow, we survived together, and I took you and Asaga to Matsuri-sensei. You were more willing to believe that all this was real…

Together, we trained, and then together we went back to Psyren again, where we met Oboro and Kabuto. My first impression of the two of them was poor at best, but I wouldn't trade their friendship for anything, now. Slowly, things began changing for the better. I had friends, I had support, and soon, we met the Elmore children, all natural psionicists, who were being trained by Elmore Wood to change the world. Many adventures with them happened, including our first encounter with Miroku Amagi. It was like a horror movie. I never knew a psionicist could be so powerful, or so completely evil… I began to feel my old fear that nothing I did would be sufficient, but together, we survived, and began to piece together the puzzle.

Your father came into the picture next, Ageha-kun, and my impression of him was of a handsome, somewhat eccentric man. He told us about Ouroboros and its collision course with Earth, and through his "colleague" we learned of Grigori, and a way to stop Miroku with relative ease. All we had to do was defeat a small army of heavily armed guards, break into a top secret facility, pass through a maze of hallways, get into the backroom and key in two codes that would destroy the microchip embedded in Miroku's brain that gave him his strange powers. Easy, right? Anyhow, Matsuri-sensei and you went in and I waited with the creepy scientist outside. You were given the passkey by a man we believed to be an ally, Yusaka. He was really a madman, with insanity that ran deeper, and a lust for killing that surpassed Miroku's himself. That was how you met Abyss the first time. Matsuri-sensei explained that Abyss was all of my hatred, anger, frustration and loneliness given form, and that both of us were madly in love with you, but that Abyss would murder millions just to feel the blood run between her fingers. You managed to stop Abyss that day, but I feared for the future.

After that, I couldn't talk to you, Ageha-kun, couldn't look at you, couldn't be near you without worrying about how much the other me had told you. Finally, I gathered the courage and asked. You told me what I had feared I would hear. She had told you how we both felt… But, to my surprise, you returned my feelings. Our hands touched, and I could feel the electricity coursing through my body, could feel my heart pounding in my chest, my breath drawing short… Every second seemed minutes, every minute, hours. I think you felt the same way, although I was so nervous that I couldn't possibly say for sure. We would have kissed then, but we were interrupted. That was the last time we saw the Elmore children in our "past lives" as I jokingly call it. We were called off to Psyren, for what we now know was the last time. We met the Elmore Wood Foundation, we were attacked by Wise, and Marie was kidnapped. Together, you and I learned the final form of Psi, Nova. I know in my heart that I would have died without you there. Nova was destroying my body, but your hands grasped mine, and you promised me that it would be alright… And my heart was still… I knew that you would never lie to me. I knew that we would succeed, that we would survive… So, we fought and won, but there's always more than meets the eye, and the true power behind Miroku was that psycho bitch Mithra. She called Quat Nevas to Earth… But Number Seven had seen what she wanted to see, and she sent us back to "our time", except it wasn't really. It was a year after we had left, a mere day before Ouroboros was to crash on Earth. Together, we rallied the forces, and we defeated Miroku for the second time… But, Ageha-kun, you _promised_ me you would be alright. That was the first time you lied to me. You nearly died, only the combined healing abilities of Van and Oboro saved your life, and for six months, you lay comatose. Every day, I cried for you, terrified that one day the doctor would come in and say there was no hope of you waking up… I didn't know what I would do if you died on me. Could I survive? I wondered. But then you woke up.

The very next day, still fresh from the hospital, you came over to my apartment with a goofy grin on your stupid face and asked me so bluntly if I would go out with you. You always have been the bluntest and dumbest person I've ever known… And I love you just as much for that as for everything else. I was so excited that I don't remember what I said. I just know that day, you kissed me for the first time… Oh, God. In that moment, I was sure that my life was complete. As we stood in the doorway, for all the world to see, no doubt, my mind went blank. My lips felt like they were white hot, and my entire body tingled with a sensation that I can scarce describe. My father didn't approve of you, and my mother couldn't care less. But I didn't care about either of them as long as you continued to love me… And indeed, your sister was ecstatic. I remember her saying something like "I thought this baldy would never get a girlfriend!"

After that, I treated every date like it was our first, and every kiss like it would be our last. I got my act together and graduated 5th in the class. You managed to shape up and graduate 23rd in the class. While I went to college, you trained with Kagetora and your Rise became almost legendary. When it was time, you joined an organization of psionicists that dealt with high level threats to humanity. Every day, you put your life on the line to defend the weak and the downtrodden. I became an astronomer and studied under your father, who could never stop saying that I was one of the brightest people he had ever supervised… I think you got tired of him saying that I was too good for you. I would've as well.

The first time we made love was a night I'll never forget. You had just been promoted in your organization and came over to tell me. We kissed, and again, the fire spread through my body, heating me up like a blazing sun. You wrapped your strong arms around me tightly and kissed me oh so gently… I could've died there in your arms, and had no regrets. I can't pretend that it was without many a bumped shoulder and clumsy tumble, but I wouldn't have changed a thing. The next morning, you were gone, and my heart fell into my stomach. I thought something was wrong. But then I went into the kitchen and you were there with breakfast. You knelt down on the kitchen floor and slipped a ring on my finger, and proposed to me. I'm not really sure if my heart stopped for a second or an hour, but eventually, my voice came back, and I fell on the floor with you and said yes. We never did eat breakfast that morning.

I know you didn't believe in God, but you were good about doing it in a church. It was a beautiful ceremony. Your father was there, your sister with her husband, Matsuri-sensei and Kagetora, the Elmore kids, despite the fact that Elmore Wood had recently died, and Number Seven made it. She never spoke, keeping to her nature, but she smiled so sincerely that it was worth far more just to have her there. After all, she was really the one who brought us together. My mother and father didn't come… Some things seem to be recurring themes, huh? But instead, Matsuri-sensei wore a suit and tie and escorted me to the altar. She then grabbed you by the neck and said that if you ever made me cry that she would personally torture you into madness before taking her sweet time killing you. Even you laughed, although I think you may have believed her to be serious.

A year later, I gave birth to a baby boy. It was the greatest feeling in the world. I was scared that I would be as bad a mother as my mother was to me, and that my child would resent me. You assured me that I could never be a bad mother, and we held and cuddled the baby together. We named him Miroku Yoshina, much to the shock of every single one of our friends. You and I thought it was appropriate, though. We raised him lovingly, and there was a lot to love. He had your hair, and my eyes, and like you, although he was rough on the outside, he had a heart of gold underneath. I laughed hysterically when you said that fortunately, he at least had my brains. Just like us, he was a psionicist, and we raised him in psionics training. He had such talent… Do you remember, Ageha-kun? The first time he manifested his powers? He blasted you across the yard, and your hair was singed. His laughter was contagious, though, and soon, we were all laughing, even you.

Our daughter was born when our son was two. We named her Nana Yoshina. She's so beautiful. Both she and Miroku are married, now. You missed their weddings, but I know you would have been proud to see how amazing they've become. Being a protector of humanity is dangerous, though, and one night, there came the knock on my door. I thought perhaps Matsuri-sensei had come over to visit, but then, I saw two men in uniform. They bowed to me, and removed their hats. The superior officer walked over to me and said it was his unfortunate duty to inform me that you had died. I was speechless. I hadn't believed it possible for you to die. I know that's silly, but the last time I seriously thought you might die was after we had defeated Miroku. You were so strong. Nana was 12, and Miroku was 14. They were both home at the time. Words had failed me. I was so shocked I couldn't even cry… I wanted to, though… Oh, how badly I wished the tears would just come, and allow me to express the feelings of deepest grief that I was feeling.

For days after that, I wondered occasionally if my heart had truly been torn asunder. Our children talked to me, but I don't remember what they said. I ate, but none of it had any taste. I drank… God, I drank so much. I wanted to die… Wanted to be with you again. I think I was close to taking my life in drunken stupor when Nana came in and tried to get my attention. I snapped, though, and hit her. Miroku managed to calm me down, and after that, I stopped drinking, no matter how badly I wanted to forget. I couldn't let myself be that monster again. Nana was afraid of me, and Miroku was angry at me. I don't blame them. I begged them for forgiveness, and they forgave me… I'm not sure I was ready to forgive myself though. Grief does horrible things to people, makes them do things they never thought themselves capable of. I never thought I could raise a hand to my own beloved children.

I don't know what I would have done if I lost them. So, I did anything I could to move on. I cleaned the house, I went to work, I made dinner for the children, I helped them with their homework. At first, I knew I was just going through the motions of normalcy. But eventually, it started to feel natural again, and I realized that you would have been appalled if you had seen how weak I had been. Did you see me? If you did, I pray to any God who would listen to me that you can forgive me. My friends helped me through that time. I cried a lot, I talked to anyone who would listen, and I think that many of them got tired of listening to me talk about the same thing again and again. But they were patient, and I survived, just as you would have wanted me to.

Our children graduated 4th and 1st in their classes respectively. Miroku, not one to be outdone by his old man, became a detective, and Nana-chan went away to a college in England renowned for its occult studies, where she studied metapsionics, and is now a leading expert in her field… I'm sure wherever you are, you're proud. I went to both of their weddings, and cried when they kissed their respective spouse. It was such a happy moment, and all of my friends couldn't have been more supportive.

As the years passed, slowly, I started to get old along with all my friends. Matsuri-sensei died when she was 80. Ageha's father is still alive, though even he isn't exactly young anymore. His ability to slow time with his Psi is decreasing, and age is catching up with him. Kagetora died soon after Matsuri-sensei, and Ageha's sister and her husband died too, though I'm not sure exactly what age they were.

When we first met again when we were sixteen, death terrified me, but more than that, being alone terrified me. But now, death isn't so scary, and being alone isn't an issue. I'm not alone, and even as I feel my last few breaths coming on, I know that when I fall into the long slumber, that you'll be there to wake me on the Other Side. I know you're there right now, Ageha, waiting for me, and that when I get there, you'll have that same goofy grin on your face that you did when you asked me out, and you'll say…

"Long time no see…"

**The End**

A/N: Okay, that was my first real Psyren fanfic. I CRAVE reviews on it. Anyone who can tell me what they think of it will have my undying gratitude. I wrote it in about 2 hours after I got home from work, but alas, it's what I was thinking of, and I didn't want to forget.


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